Monday, December 10, 2007

Dark clouds, part 1

We were walking in the park for about an hour, when dark clouds gathered around. They were completely unexpected, since today was a fine summer day. Not to hot, but sunny enough for Alex to take me on a walk. Well, to be completely honest, Alex was walking and I simply lay in my wheelchair, while he pushed me, like he always does. We start heading to the car, since a rain would be the last thing I want. Alex just took me out of the hairstylist and a rain would make a mess out of my hair. And Alex told me earlier that he likes my new look, so I might be lucky tonight... And getting all wet by the rain in a wheelchair is not a nice feeling.
We finally arrived at the car when only first drops of rain felt to the ground. Alex hurried in opening the door and he lifts me from the chair, my arm stumps around his neck. There I was, in the car's seat, with my leg stumps, nicely rounded by long trousers folded under, stumps not long enough to reach the chair's edge, while Alex put the safety belt around my belly and between my rounded breasts. A safety belt that was completely useless two years ago, in the car crash that transformed me into a completely helpless being that I am today.
Alex made sure that my leg stumps were comfortable, as was I. He always does that, he always treats me with extra care since the accident. I love that, I love to feel his hands folding the trousers under my stumps. I caress his face with another stump of mine, the right hand one, the longest limb I have, since my right hand was amputated a few inches below the elbow. He smiles, a sad smile, as always, and gets in the car, next to me, after placing the folded wheelchair in the back of the car.
Alex was quiet all the way to our home. All I heard was the car's engine. I must admit, I'm afraid of cars, but I got used to it. I got used of being afraid as I got used being an amputee. At least, it's impossible for me to loose any more limbs...
We finally arrive. Arm stumps around Alex's neck, back to the wheelchair, via his arms, pushed me inside, the usual routine. When I'm with him, I'm using the old chair. I only use the powerchair when I'm alone or when Alex is not around. He told me that he found it sexy to push me around and carrying me on his arms, so I complied.
"You are my doll" he used to say "and I love taking care of you" He was right, as I could move a little more than a plastic doll.
Alex is to quiet tonight, I don't know what's with him, although he told me early today that he loves my new hairstyle. Maybe he just said that no to upset me. But now I'm upset that he is to quiet.
"I want you... badly", I said, while looking at him.
He said nothing and stood still for a while. Then, he came near me and starts kissing my lips, softly. A tried to caress him, as I always do, with my arm stumps. I'm not yet too good at that and I really don't know how much he likes it and how much he finds it repulsive, though he assured me that he doesn't mind, I cannot be too sure.
I must be careful not to loose Alex, since he is such a good guy. I can't ask him anything more, since he already decided to be with me. And, being with me it's not easy, since I need help for almost anything... well, except breathing, one of the few things that I can manage by myself. The car accident left me without any limbs, as complications to my wounded arms and legs led quickly to the decision of amputing them. So I lost both legs above knee (all I have are two asymmetrical round limbs of a few inches long, left one being a little longer) and my both arms, the left one above the elbow and the right one below the elbow, so at least this one can be used for some minor task, such as caressing my love or playing with his dick. Uhm, excuse me, I think I'm a little to horny tonight. Although Alex said he loves me, we don't get together that often, at least not as often as I like, as a woman. Yes, I like to consider myself a woman, although most men would disagree. Can't say I blame him for no wanting getting laid down every night with a freak like me.

1 comment:

Erminia Cavins said...

Being disabled shouldn't keep you from enjoying your life. I know things will never be the same when it comes to your daily routines, but you still have the support of the people around you. I know you’ve suffered enough in adjusting to your physical condition, and you don't deserve a lifetime of misery. When you have to apply for your disability benefits, you can run to trusted lawyers for the long process. You can gain emotional positivity to your family and friends. Life should never end after being disabled. :)