He kissed me again and took me in his arms. Come on, take me now, take me here, I ponder. He squeezed my limbless body in his strong arms and then put me in my chair again, starting to undress me by removing my t-shirt. I got so horny that I would like him to take right here, in my chair.
"Is this the effect of my new look, honey?"
"In a way... maybe. But you don't need to struggle too much, you are already different" he replied.
To be honest, this new hairstyle was one of my desperate measures to increase my sex-appeal towards Alex. I need him so much. And this answer kind of hit me, not knowing what to get from it. In the mean time, my t-shirt was gone, lying on the floor and also my trousers, in the other part of the room, while Alex was walking his lips down my neck, to the valley between my breasts.
"Just stop it" I said.
He looks at me.
"If you do this out of pity, than stop."
"Irene, I... I've just..."
"Get out. Just get out" I can't hold off my tears anymore.
He stopped kissing me. He looked at me and it was the most pitifully look I've ever received. Then he ran out of the door, living me almost naked in my manual wheelchair, in the middle of the room. I start crying. I wear only my bra and my underwear and I was alone. All alone, for the first time since the accident, there was no one to hold me in his powerful arms, no one to kiss or caress me.
"I would be with you forever" Alex said on the night I recovered from the accident, two years ago. He was there with me when I realized the horror I've been trough, when I discovered that all my limbs were amputated. I guess he just can't handle it anymore, he doesn't really figure it out how hard it will be taking care of a helpless being. I can't blame him, though I hate him so much right now.
When I stop crying, I manage to move my chair a few feet, by shaking my limbless body, getting the chair forward, little by little. I could jump off it, but I could get hurt in the falling, so I choose the safe way. I got close enough to the sofa and I transfer to it, by balancing my weight and using my right arm stump. It's been almost and hour since Alex went out and I start getting cold, since I am unable to put clothes on my mutilated body. Getting from the sofa to the phone was easy, since coffee table was near and I could use my leg limbs for "walking" small distances, until they got hurt. I manage to call Julie, he's my nurse and she takes care of me when Alex is... or used to be at his job. Now I've just figured out that I'll need 24/7 care... Since my man is gone, there is no one that would take care of me... I must use social service.
Julie found me crying again, on the floor, my back against the sofa. There is no way I could get back in the chair, without help. I told her what happened and she helped me get dressed, going to the bathroom, having a short snack and finally putting me into bed. She said she cannot come tomorrow morning, but she will send someone, a friend of her, to help me out until the papers are done for a social nurse. She left me too, since raising two kids it's not easy. I assured her that I'll be ok. She turns off the light and left me in the bedroom's bed.
Kids... Who don't really want kids? I do. I always did. But no one will be crazy enough having kids with a quad amputee like me, that's for sure. Plus, I can't take care of myself, so a baby it's out of discussion.
It was pretty late when I finally got to sleep. I hate being alone. Because I know how helpless and vulnerable I am. Alex was always kissing me goodnight, but he's not here anymore. I miss him so much... And I would miss him if I were able body so you can imagine how much I do miss him now.
I finally felt asleep, with my eyes and cheeks wet from tears and with a fear growing inside me. I'm all alone. Deep inside me, I knew this moment would come someday, and it did today.
Outside, it rains pretty badly. And my hair was already a mess.
"Is this the effect of my new look, honey?"
"In a way... maybe. But you don't need to struggle too much, you are already different" he replied.
To be honest, this new hairstyle was one of my desperate measures to increase my sex-appeal towards Alex. I need him so much. And this answer kind of hit me, not knowing what to get from it. In the mean time, my t-shirt was gone, lying on the floor and also my trousers, in the other part of the room, while Alex was walking his lips down my neck, to the valley between my breasts.
"Just stop it" I said.
He looks at me.
"If you do this out of pity, than stop."
"Irene, I... I've just..."
"Get out. Just get out" I can't hold off my tears anymore.
He stopped kissing me. He looked at me and it was the most pitifully look I've ever received. Then he ran out of the door, living me almost naked in my manual wheelchair, in the middle of the room. I start crying. I wear only my bra and my underwear and I was alone. All alone, for the first time since the accident, there was no one to hold me in his powerful arms, no one to kiss or caress me.
"I would be with you forever" Alex said on the night I recovered from the accident, two years ago. He was there with me when I realized the horror I've been trough, when I discovered that all my limbs were amputated. I guess he just can't handle it anymore, he doesn't really figure it out how hard it will be taking care of a helpless being. I can't blame him, though I hate him so much right now.
When I stop crying, I manage to move my chair a few feet, by shaking my limbless body, getting the chair forward, little by little. I could jump off it, but I could get hurt in the falling, so I choose the safe way. I got close enough to the sofa and I transfer to it, by balancing my weight and using my right arm stump. It's been almost and hour since Alex went out and I start getting cold, since I am unable to put clothes on my mutilated body. Getting from the sofa to the phone was easy, since coffee table was near and I could use my leg limbs for "walking" small distances, until they got hurt. I manage to call Julie, he's my nurse and she takes care of me when Alex is... or used to be at his job. Now I've just figured out that I'll need 24/7 care... Since my man is gone, there is no one that would take care of me... I must use social service.
Julie found me crying again, on the floor, my back against the sofa. There is no way I could get back in the chair, without help. I told her what happened and she helped me get dressed, going to the bathroom, having a short snack and finally putting me into bed. She said she cannot come tomorrow morning, but she will send someone, a friend of her, to help me out until the papers are done for a social nurse. She left me too, since raising two kids it's not easy. I assured her that I'll be ok. She turns off the light and left me in the bedroom's bed.
Kids... Who don't really want kids? I do. I always did. But no one will be crazy enough having kids with a quad amputee like me, that's for sure. Plus, I can't take care of myself, so a baby it's out of discussion.
It was pretty late when I finally got to sleep. I hate being alone. Because I know how helpless and vulnerable I am. Alex was always kissing me goodnight, but he's not here anymore. I miss him so much... And I would miss him if I were able body so you can imagine how much I do miss him now.
I finally felt asleep, with my eyes and cheeks wet from tears and with a fear growing inside me. I'm all alone. Deep inside me, I knew this moment would come someday, and it did today.
Outside, it rains pretty badly. And my hair was already a mess.
2 comments:
I realy dislike it when you write about a disability like the one was better then the other, (quad amputated was better than beeing paraplegic) or something like this...I am paraplegic, and I think disabilities are not compareable, it seems to me that you should learn more about humans and human beings before you put them in writen stories, please keep this in mind!
I am sorry if I offend you, but this is a story written by a devotee. The story is pure fiction and was not ment to offend.
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